John Maynard Keynes, the trendiest dead economist of this apocalyptic moment, was the godfather of government stimulus. Keynes had the radical idea that throwing money at recessions through aggressive deficit spending would resuscitate flatlined economies — and he wasn’t too particular about where the money was thrown. In the depths of the Depression, he suggested that the Treasury could “fill old bottles with banknotes, bury them at suitable depths in disused coal mines” then sit back and watch a money-mining boom create jobs and prosperity. “It would, indeed, be more sensible to build houses and the like,” he wrote, but “the above would be better than nothing.”

As President-elect Barack Obama prepares to throw money at the current downturn — a stimulus package starting at about $800 billion, plus the second $350 billion chunk of the financial bailout — we all really do seem to be Keynesians now. Just about every expert agrees that pumping $1 trillion into a moribund economy will rev up the ethereal goods-and-services engine that Keynes called “aggregate demand” and stimulate at least some short-term activity, even if it is all wasted on money pits. (See pictures of the recession of 1958.)

But Keynes was also right that there would be more sensible ways to spend it. There would also be less sensible ways to spend it. A trillion dollars’ worth of bad ideas — sprawl-inducing highways and bridges to nowhere, ethanol plants and pipelines that accelerate global warming, tax breaks for overleveraged McMansion builders and burdensome new long-term federal entitlements — would be worse than mere waste. It would be smarter to buy every American an iPod, a set of Ginsu knives and 600 Subway foot-longs.

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